Keep Your Chin UP
by americanstalker
Summary: A conversation between Newkirk and Carter after the latter got his "Dear John" letter. Inspired by the song "Stubborn Love" by the Lumineers.


Keep Your Chin Up

_My first ever Hogan's Heroes fanfic! I have more in the works. Thanks to waikiki23 for the beta! A conversation between Newkirk and Carter after the latter got his "Dear John" letter. Inspired by the song "Stubborn Love" by the Lumineers._

It's a letter every man dreads whilst he's away from the woman he loves-a "Dear John" letter. Carter received one while he was a prisoner of war and it was a time he needed Mary Jane the most. He was naturally hurt and needed to be able to come to terms with it. He decided that he needed to be alone, so he retreated into his lab to pour himself into his latest assignment.

Newkirk had gone through the same thing many years, so he felt he could impart some of his experience to his best friend. He also remembered that when it happened, there wasn't really any catharsis for him. He just had to suck it up and move on. Besides, he thought the chemist could use a lab assistant. He waited until he was all the way into the lab before descending the ladder and joining him.

"Hey Andrew," the Brit muttered to his friend, who was suiting up to prepare another explosive concoction. The shorter American turned and saw who it was. Had it been anyone other than him or Colonel Hogan, he would have told them to get lost.

"Oh, hey pal, just working on something. Colonel says we need to get some explosives so we can blow up that ammo dump in a couple of days." The Brit nodded and offered to help him. Carter accepted the offer and told him to suit up and hand him a beaker.

"I'm sorry about yer girlfriend dumpin' ya," the RAF corporal told his friend as he handed his friend the container whilst the sergeant took out an Erlenmeyer flask with the main ingredient.

"You and everyone else," Carter muttered flatly as he turned on the Bunsen burner and poured the liquid into the beaker before putting it on. He was in no mood for feigned empathy, especially not from his best friend.

"Would ya believe me if I told ya I know how ya feel?" Newkirk queried as he replaced the cork in the flask.

"I'm listening," the American replied flatly as he motioned for his temporary assistant to put the container away and scanned his test tubes in search of the perfect ingredient. He always sought perfection in his creations and settled for nothing less.

"Before I joined the RAF, I was engaged", his friend started to explain, " Her name was Eileen Cooper. We were gonna get married after I finished me training. Not two weeks in, I get a letter from her saying that she thinks it's a bad idea t' be married to a man that's going to war and end up hanging a gold star in 'er window," the British corporal shook his head and bit his lip at the painful memory. It still stung despite the fact that it was over five years ago.

"I bet you felt lousy," Carter replied as he drained half of the contents of one test tube into the brewing beaker before adding a few drops of another. He then motioned for his friend to hand him a container with a dry ingredient.

Newkirk chuckled as he passed the container to the amateur chemist. "I felt awful. I wanted to punch an hole in the wall and scream. I just tore up the letter and the picture I had of her after I cleaned out me footlocker. It took me a while to stop hating her after I found out the real reason she sent me the letter."

"She was with another guy?" the American asked before asking for the mortar and pestle. His assistant simply nodded while passing it to him. Carter shook his head as he poured the appropriate amount in and fiercely ground the ingredient into a powder, wondering why women can't just stay faithful.

"If I had an answer, I think I'd be a millionaire. But I don't and I'm not. I'm just curious about something, what would ya have done if ya had gone back to Bull Frog?" the RAF man replied before urging his friend to slow down.

"I would have probably stood at her front door begging for her to come out so I could talk to her," Carter admitted shyly as he emptied the contents of the porcelain dish into the brewing concoction. He then asked the Brit for an Erlenmeyer flask containing another ingredient. Newkirk began to pour it contents until told to stop.

"Desperate much?" his friend replied before re-corking the flask and put it away.

"Probably," Carter chuckled. Newkirk clapped his friend on the shoulder and told him not to worry and that he probably would have done the same if he was in his shoes.

"You said something about not hating Eileen anymore. What do you feel towards her?" the explosives expert asked as he added a drop of another ingredient to the beaker and asked his friend to adjust the heat on the burner.

"I don't," the corporal replied while he turned down the heat, slowing it to a simmer.

"Don't what?" Carter asked with a confused look as they began to clean up his work area.

"Feel anything. I don't love her and if ya hate someone, ya still feel something towards them. It's the opposite of love. Ya know what I mean?" Newkirk elaborated as he picked up two containers of chemicals and asked where they went.

"I can understand, but I still love Mary Jane," the young sergeant explained before motioning to their storage area.

Course ya do. Ya can't just turn yer feelings for someone on and off like a light switch. It's not as if me feelings fer Eileen changed overnight, either. They changed over time, then reality sank in," the Brit replied as he put the items away.

"But did you forgive her?" Carter asked while he handed the mortar and pestle to his best friend before putting his test tubes away.

"With time, yeah. Still doesn't mean I have feelings for her. Just means that I don't let it fester. If ya do that, it makes it impossible fer ya to move on and be happy with someone else," Newkirk explained to his friend.

"So now what do us dumped fellas do?" Carter asked as he turned off the heat before removing the beaker from the burner and placing it on a pad to cool.

Newkirk sighed as he stood to the side, "Simple, really. We forgive them in due time, keep our chins up, put one foot in front of the other, and when the time comes, start over with someone else."

They then started talking about what they were going to do after they went home. Newkirk said that he was going to become a tailor. Carter surprised him when he said that he was going to go to college to study chemistry.

"I thought ya were goin' t' become a pharmacist?" the resident tailor asked him.

"No, I think that once the war is over I should put my skills to good use. I think I'll be able to do that by studying chemistry and learning more about it. Also, pharmacology is a form of chemistry when you think about it," the sergeant explained.

"Good point," his friend nodded.

As if almost on cue, LeBeau made his way down to let them know that dinner would be ready in five minutes. They told him they'd be right up as he ascended the ladder.

When the Frenchman disappeared upstairs, the American's lab partner just remembered an important detail about how they were dressed.

"Whilst I think this is a great fashion statement I don' think this is proper dinner attire," Newkirk wisecracked. Carter looked down at his appearance and agreed that they should change. After taking off their protective gear the duo grabbed their clothing and went back to the surface.

While they climbed up the ladder and back into the common area, Carter pondered what his friend said and agreed with him. With time he'd forgive Mary Jane, but he doubted he would be with her again. She would have to do a lot of groveling before he would even think about it. 


End file.
